Saturday, 20 January 2007

It's a Dog's Life

I've been quiet up until now. I've let my humans have fun with their silly blog, and have I complained? No, not once. Not even when they seemed disproportionately happy to receive their comments. I didn't snicker, but rather wagged my tail and humoured them, faithfully living up to my end of the whole "man's best friend" thing.

But, now everything has changed. Today I have been put through that which no self respecting dog should have to endure and it's time that I speak out on behalf of loyal pets everywhere. This torturous behaviour must end now!

It was bad enough when they carted me over 2000 kilometres in the car. I didn't get sick once, nor did I complain. I even waited to be let out rather than relieving myself in their car or camper. I endured other dogs wherever I went. I only occasionally barked at them to protect the two humans. But do they appreciate it? Not one bit, they just tell me to settle down.

Lots of strangers have patted me. Especially the little squeely ones. One human from a far away place spent a good 15 minutes talking to me in German. Err.. hello, I don't even speak German! Still, I was polite to her and wagged heaps like I was enjoying it.

Well, today was the last straw. They brought me to see the beast to end all beasts!

I think it was some sort of big mutant dog. I DETEST other dogs!!!

And, get this, the dog was in a giant bath sort of thing. I HATE baths almost as much as I hate dogs!!

Worst of all, the beast seemed to be enjoying it! What kind of a mutant freak have they taken me to see?

They call this entertainment?

Sure, they seemed quite happy walking along the pier drinking their cappuccinos (and no, before you ask, they didn't even get me one!). They have coffee, I have nothing. They drink wine, I drink water. Do you see a disturbing pattern forming here?

The freak dog even had a go at me!! But, I showed him who's boss (until I got told off).

Sniffs and Schmackos,

p.s. I've overheard them talking and I think there may be a bath in my very near future (not if I can help it!). And, a stay at a kennel next week (the absolute gall of them!). You can be sure I will let you know if this travesty comes to pass. I will not suffer this treatment in silence!

p.p.s. I'm smarter than I look!
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Audge said...

Hey Guys..just checking here....are the only pictures that we can see..the ones that you put in with your blog? Or are there more somewhere in the Flickr album? I clicked on the Flickr link a few times and don't see new ones.

And..tell Mike I can hear him muttering "Featherhead".......

Mike & Sheryl said...

We have lots more photos, but we're waiting till we get a direct internet connection to post them to flickr.

We're using the cell phone for access and it gets expensive, so we're trying to keep the usage as low as possible while still uploading some pics.

I'll mention it on the blog when we add to flickr so you don't have to be bothered checking for them.

Love u lots!

p.s. Mike says "good question, but you are still a featherhead".

p.p.s. He's reading "When Atlas Shrugged" and really enjoying it.

Audge said...

Oh..I'm glad he likes it! I want to hear all about it when he's done. You can wait till you're home though.

If he wants more good reading...when you hit a bookstore..get anything by Chuck Palaniuk.'d like him too. Weird but good. I just read "Diary"..VERY good. "Survivor" is good was my first Palaniuk. I'm going to start "Haunted" too.